He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
