I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
