What a fucking waste of an outfit
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
