so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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