You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
