I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
