In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
