What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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