It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
