Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You are the jesus of drinking
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
