so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
