i jhust puked up my retainher.
I can text with my tongue
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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