my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
