if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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