Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
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