sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
