You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
