dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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