see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
