I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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