Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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