We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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