The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
