Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
