problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I cannot find my penis.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
