I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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