what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
