im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
