i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
whose ass print is on the piano?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
