she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
