mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
