And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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