actually, I'm a sock model
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
