one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
