everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
