i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Green mimosas i think yes
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
