Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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