I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
honey bunches of taint.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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