you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
