I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
