$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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