My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
