When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
be right there i have to get my cape
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
