he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
