he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
