i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
do herpes really smell.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
