she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
