he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
