I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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