This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
