so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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