ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
