if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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