I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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